“Do you ever think about all the people who you might have fallen in love with if only you’d taken a different way home or stood a little longer in the bread aisle at the supermarket? All the people who might have been an integral part of your life but instead you’ll never know them. The unimaginable impact that our mundane choices have on our lives really gets to me. Think of how many times I might have died if I’d made different choices. Maybe I’d be homeless. Maybe I’d be famous. Maybe I’d be rich. Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed by the impact of my choices that I can’t choose anything at all because I’m afraid today will be the day that I make the choice that changes everything.”—Unknown (via harrylockhurt)
I have a weakness for the vulnerable. Maybe it’s because I myself, also feel vulnerable. I would often be completely enamored by the look of melancholy in someones eyes. I can’t help it. Once those eyes meet mine, I feel as if I’m no longer alone. As if our sadness are compatible. I long to be the reason why their eyes glow. I know it’s wrong because, I myself have my own demons and my own flaws but I just want to feel capable of something.
Like I said maybe I’m just playing off my own insecurities but I’ve often ranted about the scale men put on women on their looks. I roll my eyes when I hear, “She’s a solid 8 man!” God, I hate that! If it were me, I don’t think people in general can be measured from 1 to 10. I think those numbers are too low.
For when I am completely enamored by someone or if I can just appreciate someones beauty then I’ll give her smile a 10, the way her hair flows with the wind a 10, the look of longing in her eyes a 10, the softness of her skin a 10, the strength of her soul a 10, her humbleness a 10, the way speaks with conviction a 10, the way she snorts when she laughs a 10, even the way her bottom jaw protrudes forward over her upper jaw when she eats a 10. I can go on and on but I think you get the picture. Just know I had someone in mind when I wrote that, and even though she failed to see her worth herself, at least I failed knowing I gave it my all and in the end thats all I could have only done. I’ll save that story for another post though haha.
But yes every quirk, imperfection, strength, and emotion put together makes that person more than just a number. It makes them unique and being unique is the most attractive trait I find in anyone. Sure if you must quantify it, all those 10 makes her infinite and thats how I think every single person should quantify themselves. Even if they don’t see it them selves, one day someone will come around and at least try to show you.
Look, I know I’ve ranted about quantifying people and yes I do consider my self infinite as well. Lets, face it I don’t have anyone to believe in me right now so I’m kind of forced to believe in myself. Also, I am single and I do get lonely. I might look directly at you with my melancholy eyes. I’ve learned if anything, that what I have to offer might not be much but it’s unique only to me and I hope one day someone can accept it and love all of me, flaws and all.
I can’t offer a diamond ring or a honey moon to Prague but what I can offer is a smile that will always greet you, eyes that will glow with joy only when they meet yours, a hand to hold and a warm embrace, lips that will wish to only know yours, selective taste buds that will only crave you, and a heart that will love you wholeheartedly and unconditionally. I know that’s not much but thats all I can offer. But best believe that when I do find that someone to accept this, I will better myself to save up for that diamond ring and a trip to Prague.
(P.S. I know I haven’t been posting much but I hope this catches on. I’ll try to post more and I have a vent coming soon. Thanks for this is my 1000 post! Years of having this tumblr have been educational, life changing and inspiring. Thanks to all my friends I’ve made on here. I hate to ask but if anyone related to this, if they can repost or heart. I’ll really appreciate it :) )